April 2008
struckdumb
Whenever I look at deep space imagery, I start to get this fluttery feeling…I am overwhelmed. My very existence seems at once insignificant and utterly miraculous. I think about how rare a gem this planet is, how precious each human, each animal, each organism…and I am humbled. I sometimes feel so much love for everyone and everything that I feel like I’m being crushed. I...
I did this crazy painting of a swirling galaxy while in Boston -with plaster on a canvas board. It weighed alot and was quite unwieldy. I kept it until we were moving from NH, and I just knew it wouldn’t make the trip intact. So, I had to leave it….I’m going to try to recreate it , only better this time.
error, error
Oh jeezum crow…. I have serious issues. Serious issues indeed. Nothing, and I literally mean nothing I ever do is good enough for me. I have such loathing for things I create at times… what is wrong with my brain? my spirit? I am such a perfectionist that I have found it easier to not create than to try and live with what I have created….and sharing it with others? my bowels...
I am bleeding. I have literally played my guitar until my digit transformed into raw meat…and I am ok with that, except that now it is fucking hard to type. I demo’d another song, wrote a new one, and recorded a song for my kids…made a video to post, but vimeo is fucking backed up for 2 freaking hours AGAIN. oh well. I am excited about the new tune, but have to laugh at how...
people I fantasize about singing with...
Mary Chapin Carpenter Wynonna Judd Brandi Carlile KD Lang Barbra Streisand Amy Ray Emily Saliers Ryan Adams Dave Matthews Queen Latifah Alison Krauss Joni Mitchell Michele N’ge’de’ocello John Mayer Kiri Te’Kanawa Melissa Etheridge Mary J. Blige Nickel Creek October Project Dead Can Dance Eddie Vedder Chris Cornell Phoebe Snow Rosanne Cash Natalie Cole Janet Jackson Mariah...
transcendentally yours numberless heavy days suck dire breath from burnt lungs shapeless afternoons spent gazing out at tired lawns whose rigidly trimmed lines burnt in remind of prison garb this faceless role thrust upon the masses average anonymity but then lo- a summer breeze inspires earthy morning breath tangible upon length of skin nose hungrily draws in gasps of scent heavily laden with...
time for my head
trying harder to take time for my head I take my threadbare sanity for granted dying to believe I am worthy it occurs to me at times how ridiculous I am we are and what I am doing is nothing short of creative suicide you know the kind that can stretch itself out one long lifetime act of letting go
“Listen to my eyes” -I wrote this in...
Hear ye, hear ye! I recorded another demo!
Wow! What a jumble fuck of days these past few have been. Luna got to come home from the hospital last night, and we are learning how to best care for her at home. The little wheelchair is an eerie thing to see around the house. I am so proud of her. She has really been a trooper…and my Lordy is she hilarious on Lortab. She gets very giggly and says outrageous things…hits herself...
Fill it to the rim patience is libation best consumed from a bottomless cup too many days of shallow portions can leave one parched too cracked and dusty to soak in goodness from who knows where laughter turns to tin- falls uncomfortably upon tired ears when even the joy seems jaded we must recall that one day soon the tide will turn and fill the empty cup to overflowing brims full of...
WatchThis is a song I wrote in my frustration with religious hypocrisy. I do not claim a religion. However, I believe that Jesus Christ was an amazing person who lived at an incredible time in the history of the world… that he was a brilliant teacher and a healer…and that he loved everyone and wanted only the best for the human race. I think he would be infinitely saddened but not terribly...
the lake today gray bright horizon uplifted by trees gives destination to winged creatures calling excitedly – waves unnaturally motor made crash gently nevertheless beauteous titillating canine senses drawing them nigh – distant rumble precedes scintillating drops of rain tracing myriad rings in aqueous mirror nature’s own looking glass Basra bold women walking the streets of their hometown...
me blowing off steam singing I Dreamed a Dream...
bitter rootsundivided fears build up andshove against the closed door of my heartthey condense and seep out assickly vaporsgratifyingly slow tortureas if I deserve all that I get–subdivided dreams drain out andevaporate into the ether of all that isthey never took hold to growhollowed hazehopes planted on rocky terrainas if they hadn’t a chance of survival—-my throat closes upon the truthteeth...
Why do I carry my pain around for everyone to see? this weight on my bones…a message- “I don’t give two flying fucks about myself! So neither should you!” the yin and yang of fear- I need change constantly or I lose it… yet I have not yet found the inner well of courage to change myself. What if I were comfortable in these bones?? What if people said,...
thanks george
What comes from the heart goes to the heart…thought transcends matter. GBShaw
am I crazy?
well, yes, sometimes… However, it just so happens that it is not my fault that DR Adams pretty much looks different in every photo. That officially makes him a perfect subject for drawing. So, I shall go on and not fucking feel ashamed.
what's a girl to do?
Okay, how about the fact that I want to paint more, more, more? And I have no canvas… fuckity fuck. I shall have to draw/watercolor…etc…ok, but truly no substitute. As long as I can shift into the other half of my brain…aahh. ==============